You are unique, with a God given ability to give something to this world that no one else could. You are chosen. You are special. The dream that God has put on your heart will not go wrong! Jesus will never call you to something to watch you fail!
Ok. But....
Why after planting a church a year ago am I no longer with the community I was once leading? Why am I in counseling with my wife? How did I lose momentum both personally and professionally? If there was no major sin creeping around in my life, why is my dream no longer a reality. I am left with a lot of questions after my “God sized dream” turned out to be a nightmare.
Have you ever been in this position?
Perhaps you went to have a “come to Jesus meeting” with a distant friend, envisioning a return to the good old days, only to experience more hurt and confusion. Maybe you felt a burn in your chest to financially support another person’s dream, only to be short on the next bill that came in your mail. Heck, maybe you just decided to give Jesus a chance, and as soon as you did, you received some news that sent you into a depression.
I don’t know what your “God sized dream” was, but I can relate to you if you feel like it was just a utter failure. I have felt the pain of not having any more room in my heart to have a vision for what God could do in and through my life.
But Jesus has a way of turning us dreamers of grandeur into broken heralds of God’s grace.
You see, when Jesus came into the world, he was surrounded by dreamers. Many of them believed that God was very quickly going to send a Messiah to save the world by overthrowing the current rulers and government to establish the perfect kingdom with prosperity and peace.
But somehow their “God sized dream” didn’t quite line up with what they would eventually experience.
Instead of the up and coming leader killing Caesar, Jesus refused to pick up a sword. Instead of riches and peace flowing from his newly established throne in Jerusalem, he ended up being a poor man who told his followers to “give to Caesar what is Caesar’s”. Jesus distanced himself from living out what many had hoped he would accomplish.
When 5,000ish people decided that this man who could make bread and fish appear out of thin air was the next great king, what did Jesus do? He ran and hid. In fact Jesus was so far from the dreams of the people that instead of being a king as they knew it to be, he and his followers were homeless.
For thousands of people their God dream had turned out to be a failure. The one Man who had the potential to be the Messiah refused to follow their game plan! In fact he ended up being killed, and in death, Jesus was accompanied by the dreams of his followers.
Then three days later, Jesus rose and defeated death itself.
Jesus’ plan was made reality. While Jesus did not overthrow the government, he did set the sinner free, and he did enter the hearts of all who would believe. Jesus began a movement to establish a different kind of kingdom. He showed up big and gave us hope instead of hopelessness, courage instead of fear, and power instead of timidity. He overcame death and gave us the power to do the same!
And as I write this, all I have to say is thank God He did not stop at his followers original “God sized dream”. He went far beyond it. He gave the world life!
What I hope for you, a person with a failed God sized dream, is that you would hear this and let it sink into your soul. I pray that you would allow God to show you how he is arranging to supersede your dream with his plan. Maybe you would actually thank God that he is going far beyond your original ambitions.
No, I don’t exactly know what God is planning to do through your story, but I think that is how he intended it to be. I think this gives you room to stay humble, and it allows Him to steer your ship. I think this is what he wants for you. Instead of being full of plans and processes for success, I think He would rather you be a humble herald of his love and grace even in the middle of failure.
As for me, I am happy with where God is taking me, but it’s been a process. I love the new community Jesus has brought me into, but the way it happened was bittersweet. My “God sized dream” is a little different now, but I think that’s how he wanted it to be. I don’t know where God is taking me next, but I know it’s better than what I planned.
The fire in my heart may have been put out because of failure, but I feel the heat rising again knowing that God’s plan is truly beginning to unfold.
Thank you, Jesus, I pray your vision always engulfs mine.
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